How to stop thinking negatively? Overcome misinterpreting things the wrong way, that lead to low self worth. Change distorted  thoughts and feelings, here. Find out how to stop emotionally beating yourself up or how to stop self-loathing.

Thinking errors that leads to low self-worth

• Do you see the glass half empty instead of half full?
• Do you over look any good in you and only see the negative?
• Do you find it hard to accept praise but easily accept criticism?
• Do you attribute most things as your fault, blaming yourself for things that may not be your fault?
• Is it hard to see a positive outcome or outlook.
• Do you feel so worthless inside, unlovable or undeserving?
• Do you self-depreciate or constantly focus on the things that are wrong with you, interpreting everything negatively that happens to you?
• Do you give up on things, before taking the time to see it  through and complete it.
• Do you feel not good enough, that you put up with things you shouldn’t?
• Do you struggle with self hatred or berating yourself?
• Do you expect the worst, so you convince yourself of it?
• Do you find it hard to believe in yourself? So you do not put yourself out there, in case you fail or trip up.
• When things go wrong, do you beat yourself up, instead of learn from it and move on?

Coping with self-limiting beliefs and self-doubt.

Are you low in mood, feeling lifeless, flat, hopeless or feeling down? Depression can be the manifestation of deeply rooted negative self-beliefs, which get projected  out onto life, so life feels pointless. When negative feelings cannot be tolerated within, they become externalised onto things around you, such as, not seeing any prospects for the future.

So, how do self-limiting beliefs and self-doubt come about? In our childhood, our experience of care givers forms the templates of how we see ourselves, forming our beliefs about ourselves. When we encounter negative experiences, such as criticism, these intolerable experiences become pushed down but never really forgotten, they become our internal voice and affect the ways in which we see ourselves, by thinking there must be something wrong within us, feeling worthless, unwanted or unlovable.

As long as all the bad memories are buried, those bad feelings become internalised into our psyche structure and therefore these intolerable feelings becomes relived over and over again, in the form of depression or anxiety.

Seeing the prospects of the future as helpless, often means there is no inner resources or fuel to push through the day. Our self-belief comes from our care givers believing in us, giving us our confidence in ourselves. The internal critic within can distort how one see’s themselves or interprets things that happen to them.  Many give up on life, not wanting to face the day and feeling worse as result. So they give up easily or not try for what they want, because deep down they feel they are not worth it or do not deserve it.

These internal ways of seeing themselves are unconscious, can take over their life and distort how they see things. These negative beliefs can be used to filter how they see themselves and how they perceive others. Sometimes they project this on to others, and assume others also think they are not good enough. So, they avoid social situations or misread situations and people. Often this can represent social anxiety. One client said her mum was mean but subsequently felt everyone was mean and picked on her, so she felt bullied and would give up her job. They become the internal critic of themselves and feel others are critical, instead of locate these feelings within themselves. Often these earlier feelings can be triggered in a relationship with their partner, so they accuse their partner of putting them down or criticising them, but actually may not reflect how their   partner see’s them, it may be their projection instead.

How to overcome negative thinking patterns?

Negative beliefs lead to depressive states of mind, that keep them stuck, not allowing them to make the most of their lives and taking the best opportunities they can. It takes working through these self-defeating thoughts and feelings to overcome them, and let them go. Change does not happen overnight, anyone can tell themselves positive affirmations, but they don’t go away unless the old distortions are challenged or modified. Therapy restructures how one thinks and acts. Counselling provides the libidinal push that is needed, so that one really believes in themselves, so they can have a stronger conviction in who they are and feel stronger in their sense of self. Seeing a therapist provides the libidinal strength to push through with life and allows one to move forward, instead of staying stuck. Many have energy for life and focus on their goals, rather than being emotionally weighed down by avoiding  miserable feelings.

Nancy Carbone is counsellor and psychotherapist who has helped many couples and individuals for over 17 years. 

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For enquires for counselling call 0449 861 147 or use the enquiry form.